Since a young girl, Carrie has always dreamed of becoming a fashion designer. She was fascinated by creativity and design, always imagining ideas and creating designs in her head. As she got older, her interests expanded into esthetics and massage therapy, fields where she could combine creativity and helping others.
But for a long time, those dreams felt out of reach.
High school was never straightforward for Carrie. She would enroll, work hard, and do well for a period of time before eventually falling behind and dropping out. After attending six different high schools, Carrie was told she was too old to enroll again. Hearing that felt devastating. The dreams she had carried since childhood suddenly felt impossible.
“At that time, I kind of squashed the idea of esthetics or even graduating. So, I didn’t get a job because I didn’t have my grade 12,” she shared.
In her early adult years, Carrie faced some of the hardest chapters of her life. She was living on assistance and staying in rooming houses that were far from a livable environment; one even called the closet because it was so small. During this time, she struggled deeply with not working and was experiencing hallucinations, voices and communication barriers. Eventually, Carrie was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
Carrie then moved back in with her family, where she could receive the support she needed while learning to navigate her mental health journey.
“My schizophrenia, my verbal communication, slowed down. I could not hold down a two-minute conversation,” she said, “Not being able to communicate or hold down a two-minute conversation, how would I be able to live on my own?”
Through everything, she found comfort in music, reading and writing. Music became her safe haven. Reading was her immersion into another world. Writing is where she got to tell her story her own way. Although she could not work, Carrie spent much of her time volunteering at the Ruth Ross Residence; she always found ways to give back to the community.
Even during the most difficult of times, Carrie never let go of two goals: graduation from high school and working.
“The one thing that bothered me was that I didn’t work. I didn’t graduate, so I didn’t feel like I could work. I had nothing to put on a resume. I had no grade 12, so who’s going to hire you?”
At 39 years old, Carrie took a major step forward and began studying for her GED through Coverdale before continuing her education journey with the Saint John Learning Exchange. Carrie worked with facilitators and committed herself fully to her education. She attended class faithfully and credits much of that consistency to her partner at the time, who motivated her to keep attending class even on the days when it felt hardest to show up.
“I loved those times studying for my GED, and my favourite one was math!”
While preparing to write her final math exam, she was also battling substance abuse challenges that caused serious mental health flare-ups. During this time, Carrie survived multiple suicide attempts. Due to the substance issues, when it came to writing her exam, the anxiety became overwhelming, and she blanked and failed.
For many, that moment may have been the end of the road. For Carrie, it became a turning point.
She got help for her substance use and continued to advocate for herself through accommodations related to her paranoid schizophrenia. Carrie was granted additional time to write her math exam. Carrie rewrote the exam and passed.
From that moment on, Carrie’s life changed in remarkable ways.
“This was another miracle, within four days of getting my diploma in the mail, I got into housing, like four days before Christmas.”
These were the milestones that represented years of perseverance, resilience, and determination, finally paying off.
“In the midst of my studying, my mistakes, my bad choices, my hard efforts, I did it.”
Since graduating, Carrie has continued to build a life with great purpose to give back and support the community. She has been involved with several community organizations. She has served as the Chairperson of the Special Events Planning Committee for the Open Door Club/Mental Health Recovery Services, which supports mental health services across the city, including organizing day trips and events that help members connect and build community. Carrie was on the board for the Schizophrenia Society, where the board would have support group meetings with guest speakers and meal preparations for the members and their families to cope and understand their schizophrenia. These meetings played a vital part in Carrie’s life through community.
Carrie has completed SJLE’s WESLinks program, where she reconnected with her childhood dream of becoming a fashion designer. In the program, Carrie learned to sew. Determined to continue building that skill, she saved the incentives she earned through the program and bought her very own sewing machine. She later enrolled in a local sewing program to continue growing her skills and even made a tote bag!
Carrie was asked to return to the WESLinks program to support the revamp, where she provided vital feedback and insight to strengthen programming. Through the revamp, once again, she saved her incentives and proudly purchased her own laptop to further support her educational and working journey.
Now, after 15 years with SJLE, Carrie’s story is one of resilience, growth, and hope. From a young girl dreaming about fashion design to becoming a graduate, community advocate, and leader, Carrie has proven that it is never too late to rewrite your story.
